One of my friend once asked me which is the right way of imparting control on children , the strict control which our parents used; or the way of love and affection where there is no place for strictness. I told him, the path in between, is the best and most effective. This is what I again feel, after seeing videos of the drunken girls in streets of Assam. It is not a topic for spicy gossip or a TRP maker, but should make us think where our moral value stands ! These news are becoming a cause of panic for the parents having teenage children. Such activities were out of imagination even for the boys at our times. Probably it was because of the fear of punishment from the guardians or teachers, most importantly the respect induced by this. News of manhandling teachers by students also becoming usual affair at recent times . In a country where teachers were considered next to God , such things were beyond imagination few years back. Of course some of the teachers are also failing to maintain the sanity of the profession .It is because they don't fear the teachers as they are not allowed to punish student physically.
As parents are we not responsible for such bizarre behaviour of the children ? Are we not becoming too kind to them and unable to become tough even after their gross mistake ? Let me share few incidences I had in my school days. Around the 'Magh Bihu 'season cock fights are held every Sunday in a field some distance away from our home. One day, out of sheer curiosity, one of my friend and I went there. Suddenly we found the in charge of the police station in front of us, scolding us with a raising baton in his hand. We just fled away from there with the fear of punishment to come from our parents after receiving this news from the police officer. Almost three to four days we passed with mental agony but thanks to the officer that he did not report it. At that time we could not understand what was wrong . But later we could know that the ground was not only a place of cock fight but also of liquor and gambling. After that we never had the courage to go there. It is because we had a fear to our parents because of the strict punishment they use to apply. It does not mean that they had less love to their children than we have now. Secondly the role played by the police officer also to be appreciated. Now a days we the people becoming escapist . We are not ready to take responsibility of saying something to other's children after seeing him wrong, because we are afraid of probable reaction from the young generation as well as their parents. I can remember, during my schooldays I never use to report to my parents about any punishment if given to me . Because If I say that I was punished than my father use to ask why and punish me again for the same fault. But now a days it is seen that many of the parents charges the school authority why they have given punishment to his child even though the child has committed a serious mistake. Today’s child smart enough to grab this opportunity, hence becoming more daring, and are going far enough to do things , which may even lead to legal issues
Every parent love their children but it should not be exposed to the extent that he or she stops caring them. In our times anybody and everybody who knew us were our guardians. So we had to be careful not only from our own parents but also from the those people. This is missing now. People are becoming so selfish that they think that just their children should be alright, no matter whatever happens to a child of the neighbor. This is not a healthy sign. We must not forget that good nature nurtures only in good environment. To give a healthy environment we must keep our eyes open , and share our part of responsibility as a social being.
ECONOMIC condition of people now a days have improved dramtically. Few years back, buying a new bicycle for a middle class person was much more difficult than buying a motorbike today. Without considering the necessity we are providing a bike and mobile phones to our teenage children .Most of time these are being mis-utilized . Before providing such gadgets and conveyances, we must consider the actual requirement. Requirement of a bicycle should not be fulfilled by a motorbike . Irrational demands should better not to be fulfilled, because desires have no limit. Some dreams of theirs must be left for the children to fulfill by themselves, so that they can improve themselves so as to achieve such goals. We should somehow make them realise how much effort, dedication and hard-work is required to get something he or she wants. If a child knows that his or her parent is leaving behind huge property, he or she will never try to make him or herself fit to earn something he requires to live comfortably, rather he will not hesitate to spend, rather waste, the inherited property without giving a single thought. So it is said that a property lasts for three generations. The first earns it hard , second see the effort and also tries to add little without that much of effort as the first one, the third do not realize these and wastes it. So I feel We must make our children rich in education , morality but not with cash or wealth. To sum up, I want to emphasis on these points :-
1 . We should be kind and friendly to our children but in times we must show toughness so that they must have a fear in mind which prevent them following a wrong path.
2 . Teachers should have right of punishment but it must not be severe .Teachers also should maintain the dignity of the profession and should not consider it to be a mere way of earning.
3 . Children should not be influenced by affluence, but should be kept at par with average children particularly this should be kept in mind while fulfilling their needs.
4 . We must keep vigil not only to our own children but also to others. We must not hesitate to stop others from doing wrong, as we do to our own child .Combined effort of all only can make the society healthy.
5 . Children are more influenced by what they see in their homes so parents must be careful in their activities at home. They should act accordingly what they want their children should do.
6 . Criticising others particularly teachers in front of children is dangerous .
7 . We must monitor our children about their movements, friend circle, behavioural changes etc so that timely correction may be done .
8 . Use of internet needs proper monitoring without which it is a dangerous gateway.
These are some ideas that has come to mind regarding bringing up our children. Others may or may not agree or may have better ideas .Sharing them will be appreciated. At last I must say, everything is to be done with love and care as far as possible so that it should not hurt them to the extent that they should think us as enemies. Tough action is only advisable when the path of affection fails totally.
